I habitually call home as I leave work. I do this because I love my family and I can spend a few extra minutes interacting with their minds, even though we aren’t physically together.
A couple of days ago my wife was busy straightening up our board game cabinet. (We are huge board game people. Our Christmas tradition is to buy a game for the family. This year is going to be Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots and I couldn’t be more excited.) She was a little stressed so she handed the phone off to the five year old boy we love so much. I asked him how his day went and shortly after this conversation petered out he said “You’re my favorite sweet-pea.”
I responded with similarly sappy drivel and said “Thank you, buddy! You’re my favorite sweet-pea too!”
I drove on for a few seconds reveling in the pure love my son had just expressed. My son was silent also and I could hear muted conversations in the background over my son as he breathed right into the phone.
I was nearly startled off the road when he snarled “I’m going to fight you.” It sounded as if a demon had stolen the phone and spoken to me from the depths of the appalling Inferno envisioned by Dante. I was understandably taken aback and remained silent for a moment before uttering a tentative “What?”
“I’m going to fight you!”
“You’re going to bite me?”
He wasn’t speaking clearly and my brain was busy composing a “The power of Christ compels you!” type of speech.
“No. I’m going to fight you!”
“But…wh…wh…wh…wh…why?” I stammered, confused.
And then, in a sweet, nearly sing-song voice he said “Because you’re my favorite sweet-pea!”
“Why would you fight your favorite sweet-pea, buddy?”
“Because,” he said, “you’re my favorite sweet-pea!”
I’m still pondering whether or not to contact some Catholic authority.
I bid you adieu…and a don’t.
Adieu…enjoy your family despite their occasional demonic quirks.
A don’t…forget the look up the Pope’s address. You know. Just in case.
P.S. Here’s a demonic quote from my seven year old daughter, just so you understand my concern: “I’m thankful for the dead people because they died.”
Sweet dreams fellow bloggers and blog readers. I hope your family is much less demented than mine apparently is.